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urges to pull

How do you experience urges?

For example, my urges were generally feelings on the scalp but nowadays I often get a thought that pulling my hair out would be easier than resisting.

How can you listen to your body better, and your thoughts less? Would it help?

Looking forward to your comments.

Love and freedom


  • Mine are like the idea just pops into my head casually like anything else. It's passive. Pick that bit of paper up from the floor... make a cup of tea... where are my glasses?... go pull my hair out in the bathroom for 2 hours... Never a strong feeling. More like I sleep walked into it every time. I thought I chose to do it actually until the day I tried to NOT do it!

  • That makes a lot of sense, Memo. It can seem as though you are compelled to behave in this way, and for me, those two hours would pass in something of a trance ... it felt like it just happened.

    When I speak to parents of young children who hairpull, I ask them to treat it in the same way they would Tourettes. You know if you shout at someone with Tourettes it will make it worse, but it doesn't stop us shouting at ourselves.

    You can stop though. I last pulled over 15 years ago and if I can do it the rest of you can.

    Love and pull freedom

  • That is an intriguing question and I have hard to think hard about the answer because it is something that I have never really considered. Usually scalp/eyelash soreness, dryness or itchiness will send me to the area then I pull as I think it will relieve the pain. So it is almost like more pain will help the current pain or discomfort. I also do it when I am thinking intensely it like a strong build up and the pulling offer a 'release' in the build up of anxiety. Sometimes I think its just to hard to resist the tug to pull the hair. I feel I have rambled a bit lol.

  • How are you doing now, Sassci? I understand the dryness and irritation - for me coconut oil really helps. As for the release from the build up of anxiety, that was a great description. Exercise offers this also and so do simple tasks like cracking a coconut or taking some glass bottles to the bottle bank.

    Keep posting and thanks for your support.

    Love and pull freedom

  • Hi all... I really need some help and can relate to all these comments... I started pulling eyebrows and then moved onto lashes around age 17-18... been doing it ever since... just have no idea how to stop doing it! My lashes do grow as I permanently wear false lashes (found hypoallergenic glue to prevent damage to my lids) and got brows hyperpigmented 18months ago... I’m 44 now and just want my lovely lashes back... I pull my lashes under my false ones and obviously when I change my lashes the urge is just there... I recently told my new partner and that was a relief too... I need help- I’m really down about it... my urge is worse about 10days before my menstrual cycle arrives- in fact it’s very bad at those times... also I started my periods at the time this started too... I did have some ocd and anxiety as a child and this has gone into my adult life too...
    would welcome a chat with you all...
    Thanks loads...
  • Mine feels like an itch that gets worse and worse until I pull but I need to feel pain as well now to relieve the itch.. but it’s only temporary.. the urge always comes back. @vixey1 maybe your pulling is because of some stress around your periods?
  • I completely get what you mean about itching. Cortisol, the stress hormone, can be experienced by some as an itch and that itch used to drive me crazy!

    There is also what is known as the itch/scratch phenomena, which basically says if you don't aggravate the skin, the itch goes away. I found this very helpful and would time the itch until I basically forgot and started to do something different!

    Love and pull freedom

  • Totally agree with the itchiness, and a feeling of tension or pressure that needs to be released. It’s almost like I believe in the moment that pulling out the hairs will ‘pull out’ what I’m feeling at the time.

  • Great comment, Amy.

    I understand that feeling about pulling out what you're feeling. It is a very hard process to recover from and a difficult cycle to break. My approach nowadays is not to try to pull out my feelings but instead to notice them, and notice all the things I am grateful for and in love with about life at the same time.

    Love and pull freedom

  • Hi everyone, I'm tried of pulling my hair for more than 10 years. I'm a mother with a high college degree. I'm generally successful in my life but failed to quit this pulling habit. I tried to stop but couldn't. My children have started noticing my problem and I don't want them to pick this bad habit from me. I need your advice on how to stop; any successful techniques you have tried? I'm done with those bold spots at the front of my head. I'm done covering my hair out of shame and embarrassment. Please help!
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